“New Year, New Me.” On Setting Goals and Choosing to be Worthy

We’ve all heard the cliché, “new year, new me,” and we’re all certainly tired of hearing it. We’re definitely tired of thinking it as well.

I’m a generally optimistic person, but the new year doesn’t always bring me much hope. Most times, it feels like I’ll be getting much more of the same. My new years have seen college applications and letters of denial, new jobs/internships that turned into nightmare situations, and much more of the same life I’ve been living the year before.

Last Year’s End

The end of last year was especially troubling. I was in an internship at a psychiatric hospital, but that situation ended in a painful bit of discrimination leaving me to make dozens of calls and emails begging anyone to let me take an internship position so that I could finish my counseling degree. I don’t think any one experience has shaken me to my core as much as that one did. I haven’t been able to bring myself to even write about it yet.

So, here I am, ready to try my hardest to let go. I want to let go of that pain and self-doubt that undoubtedly accompany experiences of discrimination. I’m not here to spill my guts about what was done to me or how it destroyed me in so many ways or how it still keeps me up at night. I’m here to talk about how I’m fighting to move on.

Decide to Deserve Better

I don’t want to ever describe myself as someone life happens to or as someone others have done things to. I choose to fight for better for myself, because I’m finally starting to feel like I deserve better. I don’t expect that fight to ever truly end, but I do expect it to get easier.

As I’ve said, our lives are not defined by what happens to us. We have the privilege of choosing who we want to be and how we want to live our lives. That’s not one giant choice we make in one day. It’s a series of choices that builds our beliefs, our values, and our attitudes.  One choice I’ve been making is to talk to myself better. We may not be able to control the environment, but we can control the way we treat ourselves.

This post is much shorter than my usual ones, but I wanted to get these thoughts off my chest. I hope you keep pushing through whatever you’re struggling with. Know you’re not struggling alone. Reach out for a little hope.

For the new year:

This is a list of things I plan to do in my new year, and I recommend you consider adding some to your own new year’s goals.

• Stop defining yourself by what happens to you. Life is not about all the circumstances that are thrown our way. It’s about how we handle those circumstance and how we choose to live despite them.
• Make a conscious decision to choose happiness for yourself, whether that is one small thing that makes you feel good or letting go of someone or something that brings nothing but negativity into your life.
• Take a step forward. Take a small step or a giant leap, that part is up to you, but choose to keep moving.
• Choose right now. Take a deep breath, and then breathe out while imagining yourself letting go of those past pains and failures. Remind yourself daily to focus on the present and the future, because none of us can change the past.

A Look Forward

When setting goals, it can be helpful to start from the end. Where do you see yourself in a year? What do you want your life to look like at the end of next year? Start from that image, and imagine the steps that you need to take in order to reach that final picture. Those steps are an excellent place to start when making realistic new year’s resolutions.

What are your goals? How do you plan to accomplish them? Are your goals realistic? Leave a comment or reach out on social media and let me know what your new year looks like.

Stay Curious.